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How I Found Joy After a Long Period of Grief and Brain Fog

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How I Found Joy After a Long Period of Grief and Brain Fog
Grief doesn't disappear, it simply changes shape and become less of a fog. | Photo: Vitaly Gariev

Grief doesn’t always arrive as a storm. Sometimes it seeps in quietly, rearranging the air around you. Months pass, years pass, and you realise the fog never really lifted, it just became the weather of your life.

For me, this fog felt like a numb hum behind everything. I could function, even work, but joy was a distant language. I forgot what curiosity felt like. My body moved through days on minimal energy, and my mind once sharp, seemed dulled, as if wrapped in cotton. I later learned that this isn’t just “emotional exhaustion.” It’s neurological.

The neuroscience of numbness

Mary-Frances O’Connor writes in The Grieving Brain that grief is a process of re-mapping, the brain must update its internal model of a world that no longer includes the person we love. While this adaptation unfolds, neural networks that regulate motivation, attention, and pleasure can temporarily go offline.

Chronic stress compounds this. Prolonged grief keeps the body’s threat systems switched on, heart rate elevated, digestion erratic, sleep disrupted. Energy is conserved for survival, not joy.

We might even label this numbness as laziness, but in truth, it is protection. My body wasn’t failing me, it was rationing its limited fuel. Neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett calls this our “body budget.” When it’s depleted, even minor tasks feel monumental. It takes time, rest, and gentle consistency to replenish it.

Rebuilding steadiness from the ground up

When my energy was at its lowest, I decided to simplify everything. No grand transformation. Just five non-negotiables, small daily anchors that, over time, rebuilt my capacity for pleasure and focus.

  1. Sleep, nutrition, and hydration. I treated these like medicine. I stopped seeing fatigue as a moral failure and started seeing it as biology. Consistent sleep, whole foods, sufficient hydration were the most basic signals of safety to a fragile nervous system.
  2. Movement. In the beginning, that meant short walks and stretching. My body couldn’t do more. But movement, even minimal, reawakens the vagus nerve and signals to the brain, I am still here.
  3. Mindfulness and meditation. Ellen Langer’s research on mindful attention “noticing new things”  helped me understand that awareness itself creates vitality. When I could observe my thoughts without judgment, I felt a subtle spaciousness return.
  4. Morning daylight. It sounds trivial, but exposure to natural light early in the day stabilises circadian rhythms, improving sleep and mood. Science backs what the soul already knows: light teaches the body that another day is possible.
  5. Nourishing company. Grief can make social energy scarce. Surrounding myself with gentle, grounded people felt like medicine for my nervous system.

These practices didn’t deliver instant results. But doing them again and again, slowly built steadier ground. I was teaching my body that life could be safe enough to feel again.

Relearning joy without guilt

Pleasure is complicated after loss. Julia Samuel describes this ambivalence as the “grief paradox”: the heart wants comfort, yet flinches when it comes.

Over time, I realised that joy doesn’t betray grief. It coexists with it. The same neural circuits that process pain are also capable of pleasure; they don’t cancel each other, they inform each other. Allowing small moments of delight like the smell of rain after a hot summer day, a child’s laugh, the texture of ripe fruit, giving a smile to a stranger… was how my brain relearned safety.

Sometimes the pleasure was subtle, almost imperceptible: the rhythm of my own footsteps, the quiet pulse of breathing. But each moment of attention was a vote for life.

Attention as an act of love

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi called attention “the most precious resource we have.” Where it goes, life flows. When grief hijacks attention, the world flattens. But when we begin to notice beauty again, we reclaim agency.

Dr. Rick Hanson’s research on neuroplasticity shows that deliberately taking in positive experiences for even ten seconds can strengthen neural pathways of resilience and contentment. It’s not about denying pain but expanding what the mind can hold.

That’s how joy returned for me: not as fireworks, but as a low hum of aliveness. It began with noticing, the soft edges of morning light, the warmth of a cup in my hands, the steadiness of breath after movement. Slowly, pleasure became a form of presence.

Joy as a companion, not a cure

Even now, years later, grief hasn’t disappeared. It has simply changed shape and become less of a fog, more of a quiet undertone. I’ve learned that healing doesn’t mean erasing pain. It means expanding around it until there’s space for other notes: energy, gratitude, even laughter.

People often tell me that my presence feels calm and grounding. I think it’s because I’ve practiced regulating through storms, breathing through chaos, finding stillness when nothing made sense. Regulation became my quiet devotion, a way of honouring both my losses and my life.

Joy, I’ve discovered, isn’t the opposite of grief. It’s what grows in the same soil when we stop trying to be who we were before, and let the light find us where we are now.

I support people through grief using mindfulness, movement, and science by helping them access resilience, rebuild trust in themselves, and realise they're not as powerless as they feel.

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243 arrests made on first full day of Notting Hill Carnival 2026

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243 arrests made on first full day of Notting Hill Carnival 2026
More than 7,000 officers were deployed for the Notting Hill Carnival this year| Photo: Bob Jenkin

The Metropolitan Police has confirmed 243 arrests were made during the first full day of Notting Hill Carnival 2026, as the major policing operation continues across west London on Bank Holiday Monday.

The updated figure was released at 11am on Monday, 31 August, following Sunday’s Families and Children’s Day celebrations.

Of the 243 arrests, 97 took place on the approaches to Carnival, with the remainder made within the event footprint itself.

A total of 61 arrests resulted from identifications using live facial recognition (LFR), which has been deployed more extensively around Carnival this year.

Live facial recognition leads to 61 arrests

Sunday’s arrests covered drug and weapons offences, sexual offences and assaults, including attacks on emergency workers.

Live facial recognition has played a prominent role in this year’s policing operation. The technology also identified 26 registered sex offenders, allowing officers to check whether they were complying with restrictions placed on them. Three were arrested for breaching those conditions.

Police also responded to two knife assaults during Sunday’s Carnival. One person suffered a slash injury to the leg and another to the hand. Neither injury was described as life-changing or life-threatening.

Commander Claire Smart, who is leading the policing operation, said: “The organisers have stepped forward significantly across the event, including crowd management, and we have seen the positive progress today. While we have seen a significant number of arrests and interventions by officers, the result of that proactive approach is a welcome reduction in the levels of serious violence seen at the event in previous years.”

She added that nobody involved in delivering the event was complacent, with officers remaining across the Carnival footprint as crowds dispersed and continuing their work overnight and into Monday.

More than 7,000 officers deployed for Carnival

More than 7,000 officers are being deployed across west London over the Carnival weekend, with policing continuing throughout Monday’s main Adults Day celebrations.

The operation began well before Carnival itself. More than 330 people considered by police to pose a significant risk were made subject to bail conditions preventing them from attending.

Police also seized weapons during operations ahead of the event, including 66 zombie knives in north-east London. Another operation in east London recovered 10 zombie knives, 30 flick knives and a machete.

A Section 60 order is also in place for the duration of Carnival, giving officers additional stop-and-search powers to look for weapons.

Notting Hill Carnival is celebrating its 60th anniversary this year, with the Met describing Sunday’s atmosphere as “overwhelmingly positive and celebratory”.

The policing operation continues throughout Bank Holiday Monday, with the Met due to release its next update at 8pm.

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London Waterloo adds dog patrols to security team

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London Waterloo adds dog patrols to security team
Cocker Spaniels Riley and Buster and Labrador Flo helps patrolling Waterloo station. | Photo: SWR

Passengers at London Waterloo will now see security dogs patrolling the station as part of a new three-month trial. South Western Railway (SWR) says Waterloo is the first major railway station in Britain to introduce regular security dog patrols.

Three experienced dogs have joined the security team: Cocker Spaniels Riley and Buster and Labrador Flo. The dogs started patrols this month and will provide an extra visible security presence. However, SWR says the move does not relate to any increased security threat.

The trial comes at one of Britain’s busiest transport hubs. Official figures show London Waterloo recorded 70.4 million passenger entries and exits in 2024–25. That made it the second-most-used railway station in Great Britain, behind London Liverpool Street. Waterloo also climbed from fourth place the previous year. The figures underline the scale of the security challenge at a station used by millions of passengers each year.

Meet Waterloo’s new security dogs

Riley, 11, Buster, nine, and Flo, 10, already have years of experience as working dogs. Their three-month assignment at London Waterloo will be their final deployment before retirement.

SWR and Network Rail Wessex have partnered with Alpha Canine Specialists for the trial. The company provides certified security dogs and trained handlers.

“Security needs constant innovation and we’re taking positive steps to reassure our customers that we take their safety very seriously,” said Dan Harrison, Station Manager at London Waterloo.

Harrison also stressed that passengers should not view the patrols as a response to a new threat.

“Deploying these dogs is not linked to any increased threat. It’s simply part of providing more visual deterrence and offering our customers some additional reassurance.”

London Waterloo steps up passenger security

Meanwhile, railway bosses have introduced several other measures to improve safety at London Waterloo and across the SWR network.

Staff now use body-worn cameras to help tackle abuse and assaults. In addition, SWR is renewing and upgrading CCTV across its network.

The railway has also invested in a South Bank BID outreach worker. The worker engages with vulnerable young people around London Waterloo.

These efforts have already gained industry recognition. SWR received maximum marks in the British Transport Police’s Safeguarding on Rail Scheme for the past three years. Station staff at Waterloo also wear shared high-visibility uniforms. As a result, passengers can identify staff more easily when they need help.

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UK Charity provides free coaching for young drivers

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UK Charity provides free coaching for young drivers
Latest figures show young drivers remain among the highest-risk groups on Britain's roads. Photo: IAM

Young drivers and motorcycle riders aged 17 to 26, have attended a fully funded ‘Skills for the Road’ days at Thruxton Circuit, Andover, last week (5 & 6 August), where they received expert tuition designed to build confidence, improve vehicle control and encourage safer driving and riding behaviours. Additionally, riders were given valuable life-saving skills through event partners DocBike.

The initiative comes as young motorists continue to face a disproportionately high risk of being involved in a collision on Britain’s roads. Department for Transport figures show that young drivers are involved in around one in five serious or fatal car collisions while one in ten motorcycle collisions involve an inexperienced driver; Young male drivers aged 17 to 24 are also four times more likely to be killed or seriously injured than drivers aged 25 and over*.

For young riders, the figures are equally as stark, with more than 1,700 riders under 25 years of age being killed or seriously injured in 2025.

Participants took part in a range of practical sessions covering vehicle handling, hazard awareness, road positioning, observation skills and vehicle maintenance. The training enabled them to safely explore the capabilities of their vehicles/motorbikes in a controlled environment while learning the techniques.

“Ultimately, we want to make our roads safer for everyone, and our young driver and rider days are a big part of that. Young drivers & riders remain among the most vulnerable road users due to their lack of experience which is why opportunities like this matter,” says IAM RoadSmart Road Safety Manager, Shaun Cronin.

“Developing confidence, awareness and good decision-making skills early in a driver’s or rider’s life can have a lasting impact. These sessions are about empowering the next generation to stay safe on the road, while making driving and riding more enjoyable. We hope to expand this programme in the future so that even more young people can benefit from this type of training.”

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