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10 Things About Grief That No One Tells You

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10 Things About Grief That No One Tells You
Most of us aren’t taught how to grieve, let alone how to keep living with the ache.

Grief changes you. Not just emotionally, but fundamentally. It rearranges your nervous system, redefines how you move through the world, and quietly reshapes who you are. Most of us aren’t taught how to grieve, let alone how to keep living with the ache. Here are ten things that tend to stay behind closed doors when grief walks into your life. They’re not polished truths, but lived ones.

Grief Lives in the Body

This isn’t metaphor. It lives in your muscles, your stomach, your breath. The exhaustion. The brain fog. The chest tightness that feels like the heart literally breaks. Your body is grieving too. Sometimes even before your mind catches up.

You Mourn What Will Never Be

It’s not just about missing what you had. It’s the birthdays you’ll never celebrate, the conversations you’ll never finish, the ordinary days that were supposed to unfold quietly but now never will. Grief aches for the unlived life just as much as it mourns what was.

Grief Rewires Your Brain

You might feel like a different person because, neurologically, you are. Grief disrupts memory, focus, sleep. You forget why you walked into a room. You struggle to read or reply to messages. That fog isn’t failure, it’s your brain doing its best to rewrite a world that no longer includes someone who mattered.

There Will Be Landmines

The idea that grief moves in predictable stages is comforting but misleading. Grief doesn’t follow a script. One minute you’re functioning, and the next, a scent or a phrase yanks you underwater. These emotional ambushes are not setbacks; they’re the body’s way of metabolising love and loss in real time.

The 5 Stages Are a Myth (at Least for Most of us)

We’ve all heard of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. But real-life grief is rarely that tidy. Those “stages” were never meant to describe the experience of someone grieving a loved one. Instead they were based on the process of dying. What we feel after a loss is far more chaotic, personal, and cyclical. It’s not a checklist. It’s a spiral.

Joy and Grief Can Walk Hand in Hand

One of the strangest parts of grief is laughing again. It can feel like betrayal. But it’s not. Grief doesn’t mean joy is gone forever. Sometimes they show up in the same moment. And letting both exist doesn’t mean you’re moving on. It means you’re still moving.

Grief Might Change You

You might not recognise yourself anymore. That can be terrifying. But it can also be honest. Loss can dismantle your identity and force you to rebuild. Not in spite of grief, but alongside it. You don’t need to be who you were. You’re allowed to become someone else.

Not Everyone Will Stay

Grief changes your relationships too. Some people won’t know how to show up. Some will say the wrong things. Some will disappear altogether. It hurts. But it also teaches you who is willing to walk the hard path alongside you

There Are Many Kinds of Grief

It isn’t always about death. You can grieve a breakup, a version of yourself you’ll never return to, a lost dream, a life you thought you’d have. If you feel it in your bones and it won’t let go, it’s grief. And it deserves to be seen.

You’re Not Broken

You might feel shattered, unrecognisable, emptied out. But the fact that you feel this much is proof of your capacity to love. That pain is love that has nowhere to go. And with time, some of it will turn into something else: wisdom, depth, softness, strength. Maybe not all at once. But slowly, like light filtering in.

If grief has caught you off guard, if it’s knocked you off your axis, know this: you’re not alone. You’re not failing. You’re grieving. And even in the mess of it all, you’re finding a new way to live with what’s missing and with what remains.

Here is a quote by Christopher Walken that beautifully captures the experience of grief:

“Someday you will be faced with the reality of loss. And as life goes on, days rolling into nights, it will become clear that you never really stop missing someone special who’s gone, you just learn to live around the gaping hole of their absence. When you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open, and the bad news is you never completely get over the loss. You will never forget them. However, in a backwards way, this is also the good news. They will live on in the warmth of your broken heart that doesn’t fully heal back up. And you will continue to grow and experience life, even with your wound. It’s like badly breaking an ankle that never heals perfectly, and that still hurts when you dance but you dance anyway, with a slight limp. And this limp just adds to the depth of your performance and the authenticity of your character. The people you lose remain a part of you. Remember them and always cherish the good moments spent with them.”

I support people through grief using mindfulness, movement, and science by helping them access resilience, rebuild trust in themselves, and realise they're not as powerless as they feel.

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Why Brits are being told to keep three days of emergency supplies at home?

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Why Brits are being told to keep three days of emergency supplies at home
A survey found four in 10 households don't have enough food to last three days. | Photo: Gustavo Fring

Brits are being urged to keep enough emergency food and water at home to last several days as the UK faces a growing risk of extreme weather.

Environment Secretary Angela Eagle has encouraged households to prepare for situations where storms or flooding could leave them temporarily without power or water.

The warning comes as an unusually powerful El Niño develops in the Pacific. Its effects vary around the world, but the Met Office says it could increase the chance of wetter and stormier conditions in the UK from October to December.

However, this isn’t a call to panic-buy or fill every kitchen cupboard with tins. The government has recommended keeping basic emergency supplies at home since 2024, covering risks from floods and power cuts to water outages.

The latest warning is instead putting renewed attention on how prepared UK households actually are.

What emergency food supplies should you keep at home?

Government advice recommends keeping food that doesn’t need cooking, such as tinned meat, fruit and vegetables. A manual tin opener is also useful – particularly if the power is out and the electric one suddenly becomes an expensive kitchen ornament.

Water matters too. The government recommends at least 2.5 to three litres of drinking water per person each day, although around 10 litres per person would provide additional water for basic cooking and hygiene.

Other useful emergency supplies include a torch, batteries, a battery or wind-up radio, a portable power bank, first-aid supplies and essential medication.

Crucially, households aren’t being told to rush out and buy everything at once. The government’s advice is to gradually build up supplies that suit the needs of the people – and pets – living at home.

Four in 10 households don’t have enough food to last three days

The timing of the warning is significant because recent government research suggests many households remain poorly prepared.

A survey of 10,791 UK adults found that 60% had enough non-perishable food requiring no cooking to last their household for around three days. That’s down from 66% in 2025.

Water supplies appear even more limited. Based on the recommended three litres per person per day, just 4% of respondents reported enough bottled water to cover their household for at least three days.

Cost is one reason people aren’t better prepared. Almost three in 10 respondents said a lack of money had stopped them taking further steps, while 18% said they simply didn’t have enough storage space.

Meanwhile, the National Audit Office has warned that extreme weather, disease and cyber-attacks pose increasing risks to Britain’s food supply chains. The UK imports more than a third of its food, adding another potential vulnerability when major disruption occurs.

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243 arrests made on first full day of Notting Hill Carnival 2026

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243 arrests made on first full day of Notting Hill Carnival 2026
More than 7,000 officers were deployed for the Notting Hill Carnival this year| Photo: Bob Jenkin

The Metropolitan Police has confirmed 243 arrests were made during the first full day of Notting Hill Carnival 2026, as the major policing operation continues across west London on Bank Holiday Monday.

The updated figure was released at 11am on Monday, 31 August, following Sunday’s Families and Children’s Day celebrations.

Of the 243 arrests, 97 took place on the approaches to Carnival, with the remainder made within the event footprint itself.

A total of 61 arrests resulted from identifications using live facial recognition (LFR), which has been deployed more extensively around Carnival this year.

Live facial recognition leads to 61 arrests

Sunday’s arrests covered drug and weapons offences, sexual offences and assaults, including attacks on emergency workers.

Live facial recognition has played a prominent role in this year’s policing operation. The technology also identified 26 registered sex offenders, allowing officers to check whether they were complying with restrictions placed on them. Three were arrested for breaching those conditions.

Police also responded to two knife assaults during Sunday’s Carnival. One person suffered a slash injury to the leg and another to the hand. Neither injury was described as life-changing or life-threatening.

Commander Claire Smart, who is leading the policing operation, said: “The organisers have stepped forward significantly across the event, including crowd management, and we have seen the positive progress today. While we have seen a significant number of arrests and interventions by officers, the result of that proactive approach is a welcome reduction in the levels of serious violence seen at the event in previous years.”

She added that nobody involved in delivering the event was complacent, with officers remaining across the Carnival footprint as crowds dispersed and continuing their work overnight and into Monday.

More than 7,000 officers deployed for Carnival

More than 7,000 officers are being deployed across west London over the Carnival weekend, with policing continuing throughout Monday’s main Adults Day celebrations.

The operation began well before Carnival itself. More than 330 people considered by police to pose a significant risk were made subject to bail conditions preventing them from attending.

Police also seized weapons during operations ahead of the event, including 66 zombie knives in north-east London. Another operation in east London recovered 10 zombie knives, 30 flick knives and a machete.

A Section 60 order is also in place for the duration of Carnival, giving officers additional stop-and-search powers to look for weapons.

Notting Hill Carnival is celebrating its 60th anniversary this year, with the Met describing Sunday’s atmosphere as “overwhelmingly positive and celebratory”.

The policing operation continues throughout Bank Holiday Monday, with the Met due to release its next update at 8pm.

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London Waterloo adds dog patrols to security team

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London Waterloo adds dog patrols to security team
Cocker Spaniels Riley and Buster and Labrador Flo helps patrolling Waterloo station. | Photo: SWR

Passengers at London Waterloo will now see security dogs patrolling the station as part of a new three-month trial. South Western Railway (SWR) says Waterloo is the first major railway station in Britain to introduce regular security dog patrols.

Three experienced dogs have joined the security team: Cocker Spaniels Riley and Buster and Labrador Flo. The dogs started patrols this month and will provide an extra visible security presence. However, SWR says the move does not relate to any increased security threat.

The trial comes at one of Britain’s busiest transport hubs. Official figures show London Waterloo recorded 70.4 million passenger entries and exits in 2024–25. That made it the second-most-used railway station in Great Britain, behind London Liverpool Street. Waterloo also climbed from fourth place the previous year. The figures underline the scale of the security challenge at a station used by millions of passengers each year.

Meet Waterloo’s new security dogs

Riley, 11, Buster, nine, and Flo, 10, already have years of experience as working dogs. Their three-month assignment at London Waterloo will be their final deployment before retirement.

SWR and Network Rail Wessex have partnered with Alpha Canine Specialists for the trial. The company provides certified security dogs and trained handlers.

“Security needs constant innovation and we’re taking positive steps to reassure our customers that we take their safety very seriously,” said Dan Harrison, Station Manager at London Waterloo.

Harrison also stressed that passengers should not view the patrols as a response to a new threat.

“Deploying these dogs is not linked to any increased threat. It’s simply part of providing more visual deterrence and offering our customers some additional reassurance.”

London Waterloo steps up passenger security

Meanwhile, railway bosses have introduced several other measures to improve safety at London Waterloo and across the SWR network.

Staff now use body-worn cameras to help tackle abuse and assaults. In addition, SWR is renewing and upgrading CCTV across its network.

The railway has also invested in a South Bank BID outreach worker. The worker engages with vulnerable young people around London Waterloo.

These efforts have already gained industry recognition. SWR received maximum marks in the British Transport Police’s Safeguarding on Rail Scheme for the past three years. Station staff at Waterloo also wear shared high-visibility uniforms. As a result, passengers can identify staff more easily when they need help.

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